Is feeding your child stressing you out? Picky eaters, junk food eaters, over-eaters, non-eaters – our children give us many reasons to be concerned. Mental, emotional and physical development and wellbeing are all impacted by nutrition. Since your child “is what she eats,” you have good reason to spend a little extra time and energy getting family food right.
The following 5 tips are proven to make a difference. Apply them to your life and you will support your child to become (in time) a healthy eater, and relieve yourself of the stress and worry that has so many parents dreading meal time.
Tip #1: Don’t Force It
Force feeding is counter-productive. Even the “you have to take just one bite” rule ultimately works against you. Your child ultimately controls whether or not she eats something. To try to take that control away through the threat of disapproval or even punishment breeds resentment. You will lose, and so will your child! If you are experiencing power struggles around food, call off the war.
Tip #2: Apply “The Division of Responsibility”
Nutritionist Ellyn Satter broke the code for feeding children in the modern era, and her simple solution is called “The Division of Responsibility.” As the parent, you are responsible for when your child eats (a consistent rhythm of meals and snacks is best) and for providing healthy, appealing options. Your child decides whether or not she will eat at all, and if so, what and how much.
“The Division of Responsibility” means giving your child the right to skip a meal, while keeping your boundaries for when the next scheduled feeding time is (not giving into nagging for snacks). It also means providing a number of healthy options for your child to choose from, and letting her choose freely what she will eat (from those healthy options). Educate her about the benefits of each food group, then surrender control, and trust that her body will guide her to what is needed. She may eat only strawberries at one meal, but you can count on her craving fats and proteins for the next meal.
Tip #3: Lead By Example
Critical to your child’s success as an eater (or any other area of life) is your modeling of behaviors and attitudes. Your child naturally wants to be like you, and to master all the core human behaviors. She observes all that you do and picks up on your energy and attitudes.
How consistent are you with feeding yourself well? Do you have a pleasurable, healthy and consistent relationship with food? Do you snack or emotionally eat? Do you skip meals? Are you bored with your healthy food choices? Do you and other adults disagree or fight about food? If you have any food hang ups, consider that you could quickly break-free, benefitting you and your family.
Tip#4: Family Meals
Many families feed their children at separate times from the adults. Of course, babies and infants will need to eat more frequently and on their own schedule, but there comes a time when the child should be invited to the table with the family. Here your child is taught that feeding is a time to relax, connect, enjoy, and refuel. It is not always so easy to implement in this day and age, but it will make a world of difference in so many ways.
Tip #5: Play with Food
It’s helpful to know that children must be exposed to new foods multiple times before they will feel comfortable enough to try it, chew it, swallow it and then want more. Stressing, badgering, forcing, pushing interrupt this natural process of familiarization.
The most effective way to accelerate this process comes from the research based curriculum of Dr. Antonia Demas of the Food Studies Institute. Dr. Demas has proven that children will eat whole foods- even greens, beans, and whole grains – when exposed to these foods through fun, pressure-free, hands-on experience.
Schedule play dates for your children and their friends. Prepare simple healthy dishes that are attractive and unique. Use cooking as a way to teach math, science, manners, teamwork, history, diversity, geography and more.
The most important thing is to give yourself and your child a break. You want to do the best for your child. Your child also wants to do the best for you. If you are inspired to make changes, make sure you are supported to do so in the most enjoyable and stress-free way. Apply these changes in a gradual way, and you and your family be on your way to a healthier lifestyle.
The Baltimore Health Coach can support you and prioritize your next steps. Mention this article to receive 50% of a 50-minute family nutrition strategy session. www.BaltimoreHealthCoach.com
Lucas Seipp-Williams, CHC is the Director of Baltimore Health Coach. He supports busy people to boost their energy, balance their weight and optimize their health through individualized nutrition and lifestyle programs. Lucas is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners and Food Studies Institute.
