Dear Dori- Do you have any advice regarding how I can deal with the “holiday blues”? I seem to experience them every year. - Mr. Blue
Dear Mr. Blue -
As strange as it may sound to some, it is very common for people to experience the “holiday blues” during the November to January months. These months coincide with many holidays, celebrations, family/friend gatherings, food, and gift exchanges. These types of events are common triggers for stress, anxiety, and an overall feeling of being “blue”.
If you know that you tend to experience the stress, anxiety, or sadness around the holidays, it is definitely helpful to mentally prepare yourself ahead of time and map out some strategies that may reduce your “blues”. If you have never suffered from the “holiday blues” before, you may still want to take a look at these helpful ideas that may benefit you or a loved one.
1) Remember that although family gatherings can be fabulous, they can also be stressful. Unlike our friends, we don’t choose our families, which often means there are a lot of different personalities and opinions present in one room. Stay close to the family members that you enjoy spending time with and don’t feel obligated to spend great lengths of time with everyone at a get-together. For instance, my husband and I have developed a “secret sign” with each other over the years. If I give my husband the “sign”, he knows I need to be rescued from my conversation with Great Uncle Stewart.
2) Don’t drink too much alcohol at ANY event. Although many holiday celebrations involve alcohol, it is important to be cautious about the amount you consume. No one wants to see the boss dirty dancing with his wife at a work party and no one wants to hear you talking about the night you got your girlfriend knocked up. There is a place and time for those situations….like, in private!
3) Give what you feel comfortable giving. As I discussed in an earlier column, people are still uneasy about the economy and individuals continue to question the stability of their jobs. This is not the year for extravagant gifts. Talk to your friends and family ahead of time to set a limit on the price and number of gifts. For example, after a year of job losses and decreased incomes in my family, we have decided to just give gifts just to the kids. Aren’t the holidays about giving thanks and spending time to family and friends anyways?
4) Enjoy the food but don’t overdo it! It is normal for people to put on a few pounds around the holidays, but it is important to not indulge too much because that often leads to unhappiness. For example, a lot of people tend to experience guilt after eating too much pumpkin pie; others may start to feel badly about themselves when their jeans are a bit too tight. So, stick with your exercise routine and let yourself enjoy the holiday and all of it’s food, but just remember to eat a sliver of cake, not a plate of it!
5) If you anticipate being alone on a holiday, let someone know about it! Many people can’t travel to see family during the holidays because of work or the insane price of an airline ticket. So, although it’s difficult to be stuck in a place you don’t want to be, there are plenty of families that would be thrilled to set an extra seat at the table. Being with someone else’s crazy family is better than being alone!
Last, but not least…have a happy and healthy holiday season! And, keep the questions coming.
-Dori
Dori Chait, LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker. She has experience working in acute care settings, both with individuals who are medically fragile and psychiatric patients. Most recently, Ms. Chait was a therapist in an outpatient day program for individuals who are dually diagnosed. Currently, she is a stay at home mom.
